Anxiety

I’m sitting here this morning, trying to digest some pancakes before I go out for a nice ride/run combo, reflecting on my journey and what is to come. That sounds deep, but it really isn’t. With only three weeks until my first big test, I’m looking back on my training to reassure myself that I’m ready, at least as ready as I can be.

I started feeling anxious a couple of weeks ago, and have already lost more than a couple of hours of sleep. 70.3 miles is a long race. I know I can do the individual components, but how will I react when they are back to back? More importantly, this is a race. I’m not delusional, I’m not racing other people (though I will compare my results to theirs once it is all over), but something happens to me in a race and I tend to push myself harder than in training. It’s also different running/biking/swimming by yourself with music playing in your ears compared to running with a whole bunch of people around you. I’m banking on the swim to spread out the competitors so there isn’t as much dodging in and around people. The swim should be interesting though.

If I had a dime for every person that has told me I will be fine, I’d be a rich man. Actually not, but I could probably get into the dollar cinema! That doesn’t help me much though, it only matters what is in my own head. I mentioned I was anxious to my coach the other day, and she recommended a warm up race to settle the nerves and shake out the cobwebs. I’m going to do just that, I’ve signed up for a sprint next weekend. It is short enough that I’m absolutely not concerned about the distances, not even the swim. I’m even going so far as to consider this a race, and I’m going to push myself pretty hard to do well. I don’t know that it is going to help my anxiety or not, but it gives me something to distract those thoughts for another 10 days as I focus on an event where I know I will do fine.

My wife and I had dinner with Ironman Betsy and her husband last night. While discussing her swim at the Ironman Arizona, she mentioned something I’d never thought of: what if someone knocks off my goggles while I’m swimming. I don’t think I could swim in saltwater without them, and freshwater might not be much better. Fortunately she also gave me a couple of solutions: stuff an extra pair of goggles down the front of your wetsuit in case you lose yours, and put your swim cap on over your goggle strap to cover them in back. While I now have one more thing to concern myself with, I’m not worried since I have a plan.

Am I anxious? You betcha! Will I lose sleep because of it, probably? What am I going to do about it: finish my morning coffee and go do my daily workout. That should give me at least a couple of hours of respite…